More North Korea (Nuclear) Sabre Rattling: An (In)Appropriately Ridiculous Response

As io9 reports, North Korea “has released a four-minute propaganda clip depicting the White House under attack. Entitled, ‘Firestorms Will Rain on the Headquarters of War,’ the video is yet another example of the disturbing — and seemingly inexplicable — rhetoric that’s suddenly pouring out of Pyongyang.”

I’m tempted to think that this video should be read in the long tradition of hurriedly making a film based upon a forthcoming blockbuster in order to release the derivative film before said blockbuster so that the derivative film can capitalize on the attention leading up to the release of the blockbuster. (I tried to find a more elegant way of putting this, but have clearly failed). For example, Deep Impact (1998) was clearly made in order to benefit from Armageddon (1998), which came out two months later, and the terrible Skyline (2010) was made anticipating (the also not good) Battle Los Angeles (2011). (I wrote about Skyline a while ago.) Other examples are too numerous to list, but there are many.

The above is clearly anticipating Olympus has Fallen (2013), which will be released tomorrow. If you have seen the trailer (below), Olympus has Fallen portrays the destruction of iconic Washington DC monuments w/ better special effects than the Capitol Building in the crosshairs right before the 3:00 mark of the above video (an understatement). N. Korea should have taken a page from The Asylum, a “studio” wholly devoted to this kind of anticipatory capitalization (i.e, they released Transmorphers [2007] on video a week before Transformers [2007] appeared), and might have gone ahead and titled the above video: Asgard has Fallen (which basically captures the gist of what they were going for in their original title anyway.)

(And is it any coincidence that Morgan Freeman steps in as the President in Olympus has Fallen, reprising his presidentiality from Deep Impact? Is it not the case that Olympus has Fallen capitalizes on Freeman’s initial anticipatory capitalization in Deep Impact? And since now there actually is a black president, does not Freeman’s role in OhF work through a kind of anticipatory capitalization après la lettre? And doesn’t the trailer below also look awful? Like Olympus has Fallen is itself an anticipatory capitalization on a film that does not exist yet? That this summer there will be a film called Valhalla in Flames or The Fall of Valhalla [or maybe Valhalla Rising] that is just way better than OhF? I think there’s a recursive loop here. I will stop writing so as not to fall into it.)

Fallout: New Vegas

[While going through some old poetry today, I discovered this little ditty. I couldn’t resist posting it.]

I am sick of the postapocalypse. Here we are,

eating human flesh on the Strip in casinos burned

by atomic fire about to devour some successful

rancher’s son while masked a la Eyes Wide Shut.

 

We’re supposed to converse w/ what seems like

an AI[1] but we’ve gotten curiously sidetracked,

this awkward looking young woman and I

as we’ve traversed the terrible wastes doing,

well, whatever it was to do that came along.

 

We’ve passed through this night waiting

for someone to sneak into a guard tower in

an old airport control tower.[2] In real time.

 

Here we are, perched on a hotel in Vegas,

a high enough vantage point to see the bombs

go off in the desert. Here we are, burying mountains

of nuclear phlegm beneath plaques bearing the universal

hieroglyphic for, well, death. The postapocalyptic

 

has infected us. We breathe its miasma and blow it

out our eyes in radiant spectacles of retro-horror

nuclear nostalgia from an alternative twenty-first century

 

in which some mysterious stranger rolled into town

w/ “a big iron on his hip”[3] and we were her, blowing

ghouls away. We’re all patiently waiting for the MMO.


[1] Nudge, nudge . . . Bioshock (Quincey, MA: Irrational Games, 2007).

[2] The future can only look like the past.

[3] Marty Robins, “Big Iron,” Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs (New York: Columbia Records, 1959).

North Korea Responds to Sanctions

As The New York Times is reporting today (and pretty much everyone else): “Angrily responding to the United Nations Security Council’s unanimous decision to impose tightened sanctions, North Korea said on Friday that it was nullifying all nonaggression agreements with South Korea, with one of its top generals claiming that his country had nuclear-tipped intercontinental ballistic missiles ready to blast off.”

Creating Jobs Today to Ensure an Apocalyptic Tomorrow

I’m sure this would be even funnier to me if I had a bit more knowledge of the current discussions going on about the AFL-CIO, but it’s still pretty biting. The blog is NotAFL-CIO, and the post is “AFL-CIO Executive Council Endorses Comprehensive Doomsday Policy for Working Families”:

Sean McGarvey, President of the AFL-CIO’s Building and Construction Trades Department and Co-Chair of the American Doomsday Institute (ADI), noted that environmental concerns were overblown: “Yes, these technologies will destroy life as we know it, but we see enormous opportunities for working families in the emerging evacuation, resettlement, and cryogenic industries of the future.”

I suppose this satire is relevant no matter the organization.

Pynchon’s Bleeding Edge

So it looks like my first speculation about when this novel was going to be set has turned out to be true: the 1990s and/or 2000s, thereby completing his epic of the 20th c. The New York Times reports that Thomas Pynchon’s novel, Bleeding Edge will be out Sept. 17, and is “set in 2001, [and] takes place in ‘the lull between the collapse of the dot-com boom and the terrible events of September 11.’” Wow. 2001 seems close enough for me to feel like my speculation was accurate. Who would’ve thunk that maybe the best 9.11.01 novel might be Pynchon’s . . . .